Info for minimalists

Come! Postcode is BS23 4XU: follow this link on foot (park somewhere around here or on the beach in Uphill). Bring a sharing plate for dinner if poss. It will likely rain. See you there x

Info for mediumalists

The weather has been what I am politely going to term ‘a total shit show’ and it’s not getting much better, so being outside may be under threat. Six tonnes of seaweed have also washed up, but I will endeavour to shift some of that in time! (*Update: SHIFTED! We’re exhausted ;))

• Sat 13 Sep: 2pm until closing time (bar will likely close at 11.30pm-midnight). It’s on a beach, so, later lingering is possible. If the rain stops for a moment!

• Location here: Weston Bay Yacht Club Clubhouse and on the beach nearby, at the mouth of the river Axe, near Uphill. The approach is via Uphill Village, not via Weston-super-Mare proper.

• Day: kids welcome. Beach games - please bring more - and lounging in the day from 2pm. We have full private hire of the venue all day so if it is raining, we can go inside.

• Lunch: bring your own picnic lunch if you haven’t already eaten - beach mats available to borrow. Though it’s currently so wet, their use seems improbable.

• Food: from 7pm/8pm grazing: bring a sharing dish for the buffet if you can. Don’t worry if you can’t, there will be food. Tuck in. 

• Night: party/ disco/ lights/ smoke machine inside, Silent Disco outside (or inside) and FIRE if the mo-fo rain stops and lets us.

• Swimming: it’s not wholly out of the question though the tide won’t be near until 9pm+. Bring togs and towel if you like That Sort of Thing. And remember kids: alcohol and water don’t mix. Unless it’s whisky.

• Looking like Sat has a 30-40% chance of rain initially dropping off in the evening, winds at 15mph.

Info for maximalists

Daytime

High tide is 11.36am in the morning so the tide will be OUT OUT from 1pm onwards (it’ll make a reappearance around 9pm on its way back in for an 11.35pm high tide). All welcome any time from 2pm for daytime fun on the beach (the weather’s looking ropy but we have use of the building all day). Partners, children, and well-behaved (preferably curly) dogs welcome. DOG UPDATE: I took one down there for a walk today and she, me, and my van have never been so filthy. So, please only bring a dog if you have to.

Bring your own lunch if you haven’t already eaten it, if coming from 2pm/ during the daytime.

We’ll hope for good weather (but will be prepared for terrible weather) and are planning for beach volleyball, boules, Kubb, other games – bring other games – lounging around, and music (perhaps with an early visit to the Silent Disco for those brave enough).

The clubhouse bar will be open from 2pm for cold and hot drinks – normal not fancy coffee: Bristolians, adjust your expectations – and bar snacks like nuts and crisps. There are loos in the clubhouse. We’ll erect a gazebo or two outside, but if the weather is looking bad, games will obviously be trickier and there’ll be a lot of people in a small space. If you have one and are able to, perhaps bring your own gazebo so we can try to stay outside as much as possible. If it’s super bad weather, I will judge no-one for staying away for this bit of the day and for entertaining yourself elsewhere in Weston.

If you have kids and are visiting from afar – head to Weston’s Marine Lake for a bit if you want to swim… the tide’s always in there. The early (11.11am) tide will be swimmable from the main beach from around 10.15am until 12pm ish.

Evening

Around 7pm we’ll re-dress the scene - and perhaps ourselves, who knows - for evening. Outside, think Thai-styled beach bar (without any of the heat, mosquitoes, or ultra-violet body paint), rattan beach mats and low tables scattered on the sand – if the weather is good. I’ve got a Silent Disco AND actual, audible music for inside - I know right, total overkill! The bar at the Yacht Club is very cheap so please do send your fine custom its way to support them (the gig rowing club I’m with is affiliated to the yacht club). If you want to bring some extra tinnies for once the bar closes and we want to stay on the beach for a bit longer and a campfire, no worries. The building has Wifi and takes cash or card. Last orders likely 11.30pm for a midnight chuck out all going well - we’ll have the beach and fire pit then. Fewer children in the evening will probably be best/ safer, as it starts to gets darker and the tide comes in and there will be fires and there’s some beach detritus around that’s harder to see at night. So if you can offload the cherubs/ dogs/ other encumbrances for the night time: do.

Playlists/ Music for the Silent Disco

If you leave it to me (and Kate Jones), it’ll be Kylie and Shakira on a loop all night. So, if you have awesome playlists either for the main music inside or for a silent disco channel slot, please share the playlist with me so I can work up some kind of running order. Melski is already on this but having a shareable Playlist on Spotify could be useful.

Dinner – bring a sharing dish if you can

I’ve been pondering this and, well, can’t feed you all! So, if you are in a position to, please bring a sharing dish for the buffet room (if you could label it and any allergens that would be really appreciated). If your arms will be loaded up with Kids and Stuff, or you’re cycling or coming straight from a train, or any of that jazz, don’t worry about bringing anything, there will be enough as I’ll also provide some food. With hope, no-one will go hungry!  

Venue and parking (don’t drive to the venue)

See the diagram below. It’s at Weston Bay Yacht Club clubhouse (again, location here). Postcode BS23 4XU. Accessed from Links Rd in the village of Uphill just south of Weston. It’s a wooden building on stilts, on the beach, at the very southern end of the beach. Please park elsewhere and then walk to the venue, even experienced locals and rowers are getting stuck in the sand at the moment.

You can park in the streets around Links Road - watch out for parking restrictions on Links Road itself at the beach end - or on the sand itself at Uphill Beach carpark. Please note: the gates to Uphill Beach Carpark will be locked by the Beach Rangers at 8pm, so there will be limited opportunities to drive off the beach after 8pm.

I don’t recommend leaving your car anywhere on the beach overnight.

Local accommodation

Try the usual suspects like AirBnB and booking.com. There’s also the Uphill Marina Touring Park, see image above, which might have space for vans. Other vanners, let me know if you want some ideas of places to park for the night. My home address is Flat 2, 4 Albert Road, Weston-super-Mare, BS23 1ES, if you wanted to get anywhere near (and along the sides of Ellenborough Park near my flat is generally a safe bet for overnighting). If anyone is really stuck let me know – there’s always camp-style on floors or we’ve got a few vans between us you might be able to sleep in ;)

TO BRING: a recap!

• Beach stuff if you need it - rattan mats will be available

• Lunch/ afternoon snacks if you’re coming earlier in the afternoon

• A sharing dish if you’re coming in the evening (if you can’t, honestly don’t worry)

• Any fun beach games/ activities that we can set up and play in the day

• Silent Disco/ normal disco playlists - share with me in advance

• If you have any battery-powered or solar LED string lights to add to the collection for the evening, feel free to bring

• As at 10 Sep, looking like Sat has a 30-40% chance of rain all day, winds at 15mph. Likely too windy for gazebos.

Sunday morning

I like the idea of a walk in the area/ out to one of the headlands, so if you’re staying around, and want to join in with that, let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop. Not crazy early, mind, perhaps starting at 11am…

I think that’s it. LMK if you have any other questions (WhatsApp is probably best) and I REALLY CAN’T WAIT to see you x